The ' If Only' Sequel
by Moe-the-Insomniac
Summary: Help desperatly needed with title. The ' If Only' sequel that I promised. It's all Summer and Seth (a bit of Ryan and Lilly of course). In light of Marissa's death, see what they get themselves into.
1. Prologue

Summary- In the resolution of Marissa's death, Seth and Summer make their own mistakes, and now are left with the conflict themselves.  
  
Authors Note- Still don't own anything. Except Lilly, and whoever else may come along. Enjoy.  
  
Prologue  
  
The front door opened, and the two stepped inside. The clothes on their bodies reflected the looks on their faces, walking was a challenge all it's own. They sat across from one another, one of the coffee table and the other on one of the bean bag chairs. Each stared down at their knees before one was daring enough to speak.  
  
"It really was a beautiful ceremony" Seth didn't know what else to say.  
  
Summer nodded, "that's Julie Cooper for you" she paused, "no one should have to bury their own child. And I don't think she was happy, only because she thinks Ryan had something to do with it".  
  
Seth shrugged, "is she taking Lillian?".  
  
"I hope not. Ryan's taking her back to California later tonight. Julie is going too, so whatever happens, we'll hear about it in some post card".  
  
He leaned back, laying across the table, "poor Ryan" he muttered, "shouldn't you be on that flight too?".  
  
"It was sold out. I was going to ask if I could stay here for a few more days, but I can find a hotel".  
  
Seth shot back upwards, "no, stay here" he then realized how fast the words came out, "I mean, it's fine with me. I've got work, but no, I don't mind".  
  
She wasn't in the mood for an argument, or pretending to be coincident- rare as that was, "okay...thanks".  
  
"Better than being alone".  
  
"Being here with me is actually better than being alone? Whoa, talk about drastic change in events".  
  
Seth felt his complexion changing, "Summer, I don't hate you, convincing as we have made it look since high school...and most of high school. To be honest, I don't even know why we acted so mature, but either way, it's getting old. Maybe now, since Marissa's gone, we should cut the shit".  
  
He beat her to that one, and without sounding as rehearsed as she really was, "yeah, that's a good idea" and she remained as casual as always, without giving off a single hint.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There was another argument about sleeping arrangements. Summer didn't want to leave him out on the beanbag chair, and he told her was sure termites were living there now, having moving from the bathroom. In the end, two more nights in the same bed wasn't going to harm either of them.  
  
Seth had gone to bed first, claiming he had to be at the school by eight the next morning. Summer stayed in the kitchen, apparently reading, apparently.  
  
It was some charity event on a luxurious yacht when Summer first admitted her love for Seth, and even confessed it- to him of all people. Even a Wonder Women costume didn't do the trick when he was with Anna, but their time eventually rolled around. What happened after that, they can't even explain. And three thousand miles in distance was what kept it from mending, but now the death of a close friend, may be taking that place.  
  
Had Marissa survived, they'd without a doubt still be in their feud. But not once, over the course of five years, did she fully give up on him. And she had no reason to start now.  
  
She made sure he was sound asleep through a crack in the door, then stepped inside. Following a dark path through clothing and other things she didn't wan to know about to the other side of the bed, and listened for any signs of waking. When there was done, she angelically slipped under the covers. For a few moments, Summer only listened to his coarse and deep breathing. When the feeling of insecurity began to overcome her once again, she inched herself towards Seth. After another moment, she wrapped her arm around his waist.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The bright tinting of her inner eyelids is what woke Summer Roberts late the next morning. It took her mind a minute to remember exactly where she was. And with that, she immediately bolted upright.  
  
Vivid sunlight shone through the same window that she had tried to escape from the other day. The clock on the bedside table read quarter to twelve. If the empty bed wasn't indication enough, Seth was already gone for the day.  
  
Did she move in her sleep? Or did Seth wake up to her arm? He was known for doing that, so was Ryan, but that was a different story.  
  
"Come on, people move in their sleep" she said aloud, and only to herself, "pull it together Roberts. Yeah, Summer will believe that one".  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
And so she spent the next four hours plopped on a beanbag chair in front of the television. Her pajama clad knees pulled to her chest, chin resting on top of them. After about half an hour, her brain wandered and she had no idea what she was watching at one point.  
  
"Oh God, you survived" her finger slammed on the remotes power button.  
  
He sat next to her on the floor, "you okay?".  
  
She turned her neck enough to see him, "I think there was something on Ricki Lake earlier about single parents who loose custody of their kids" her voice became more rapid, "and I kept thinking that Julie is going to take Lilly away from Ryan, and...".  
  
"Hey, hey, hey" he leaned forward, pulling her into his arms, "you've got nothing to worry about. Ryan is a lawyer, he'll figure it all out, don't worry" her cries continued, and he tenderly stroked her back, tears being absorbed on his shoulder. "Do you want to go out...or something?".  
  
The hitching breathing stopped and she leaned out of his arms, "do I want to what?".  
  
"You know, go out...get a drink. Get our minds off, everything. Get drunk the legal way".  
  
It took her a moment, wiping a tear from under her eye, " okay" she sniffed, "I guess so".  
  
Authors Note- That was a rushed ending, but the good stuff is coming. 


	2. You do look like me

Authors Note- Wow, that's a lot of reviews! Thank you so much! The title is still under consideration, but please keep the ideas coming  
  
Chapter Two- "You do look like me"  
  
He managed to get the door unlocked with suitcases and a sleeping girl in arm. It was pitch black in the apartment when the door closed. Each step was taken carefully with the lack of light, but he still remembered the disaster that his living style was. But then again, he called lots of things lots of different things when he was alone.  
  
The small journey to his bedroom was successful. He switched on the bedside lamp, allowing his eyes to adjust. There was no need to pull back the covers, the bed was never made to begin with.  
  
Ryan gently laid Lillian along the mattress, not disturbing her. She didn't notice the change, just pulled her legs to her chest and softly sighed. He couldn't help but looking at her, staring in fact, if she was awake she'd probably be staring right back at him. Something as sleeping could be a memorizing thing with your own child.  
  
"You do look like me" he confessed, if only to himself.  
  
The one thing that tore him up was pulling Lillian out of the only world she knew for the little time she had been alive. She knew her mom, and Seth, and that was it. She didn't know what a father was until it was explained to her, and he didn't know what a daughter was until he found out he had one.  
  
What if Seth had called him earlier? Sooner.  
  
He couldn't get that out of his head for the plane ride back to California. Anyone could have told him, and he wouldn't have missed the first four years of his own child's life. Marissa said she wanted to protect him. From what? Being a father? That's not what he would have chosen. Either way, it didn't matter, not anymore.  
  
But he didn't miss her first word, maybe it was luck that she waited four years. Waited just to meet him. And it still got to him to replay that scene over and over in his mind. Lillian running after him down the hallway, screaming, begging for him not to go. Summer, Marissa, and Seth just stood in shock, not like he was too sure what to do either. It was like she had been talking all along, but only waited until that one moment to let everyone know.  
  
Still, those were her first words, and currently her last. No one could blame her at this point, after watching her mother die, she probably thought she had been better off not saying anything. They were still encouraging her, but the look on her face as she sat on his lap at the funeral was her own thoughts thinking it was her fault. He wasn't going to let her believe that.  
  
Ryan left her alone to sleep, returning to the other room, sitting on the same couch he was on when Seth called him and told him to get to New York as soon as possible. The phone was still in the same place he left it. Everything looked exactly the same, but it sure as hell wasn't. Pretty soon, a litter of toys would join the clutter he already created. Note to self, he had to get her some toys, all he was able to get from New York was some of her clothing, which wouldn't last long. Maybe he should clean up now. He didn't know how to raise a baby let alone a toddler, especially alone. Seth continuously offered any help, saying he'd come visit whenever he had the chance for assistance. That seemed wrong, his best friend knowing more about his daughter than he did.  
  
Well the workaholic part of him was going to have to stop, immediately. He'd have to find a day care, and eventually school. Marissa already started a college fund for her, but that was still fourteen years away.....  
  
Since when could things get so complicated?  
  
The phone began to ring. Ignoring the fact that it was de ja vu, he quickly grabbed it before Lillian woke up.  
  
"Hello?".  
  
"So you two made it back alright?" the infamous Julie Cooper.  
  
Be nice, be nice he kept telling himself. "Oh, yeah, and you?".  
  
"Just fine" cue uncomfortable silence, "so what time are you bringing Lilly by tomorrow?".  
  
Where did that come from? "Excuse me?".  
  
"My granddaughter. I've already got her room set up here, but since its late, she mind as well spend the night with you, is she already asleep?".  
  
"Yes, but, Marissa's will said that she wanted Lilly to be with me".  
  
That laugh, that evil laugh that wasn't even created from real humor, but just to spite him. "Of course it did, that's just the way she was. But its obvious that Lilly belongs with me".  
  
"Actually, its not".  
  
"You're her father".  
  
He was ready for a fight, one he wasn't expecting to loose, " more or less the reason why I should continuing raising her, don't you think?".  
  
That laugh again, "where were you the first four years Ryan?".  
  
"Uninformed".  
  
"Either you hand her over, or the state of California will".  
  
Hand her over? She wasn't a piece of property, she was a human being for crying out loud. "Good luck with that one Julie" and he slammed the phone onto the wood table, possibly cracking it.  
  
Entering the room once again, he calmed himself a little to make sure his small rage didn't wake her up. It didn't. She was still asleep, though had turned over and was now facing the other wall.  
  
For the little girl he didn't know very well, he wasn't going to let her go. 


	3. I cant remember a thing from last night

Authors Note- Sorry for the long gap, but thank you for the reviews. Also, go read LilFlyergirls OC story. This chapter takes place after Summer and Seth went out drinking in Chapter One (contains swearing)  
  
Chapter Three- "I can't remember a thing from last night"  
  
It was simple to indicate when the dream process ended and the waking one began. There was no pain in dreams, but right now, he had a splitting headache. And not one that was still forming, no, Seth woke up right in the middle of this hang over.  
  
He loudly groaned, rolling over and falling to the floor, muttering a few curse worlds. His eyes opened, then seeing that he was no longer covered by the bed sheet, and was entirely naked. "How odd". At that time, Seth believed he had been drunk enough from the night before to have shed all his clothes and gone to bed. There was no memory of the night before, but Seth Cohen should know known better.  
  
Using the mattress as support, Seth pulled himself upward, and let out a yelp when he saw Summer sleeping on the other side.  
  
"Oh no, you slept next to me in my birthday suit" he said to himself, thinking she must have drank just as much. However, the bed sheet only went to her waist, showing off her bare back. "I really hope you have panties on" or they'd be in very similar situations.  
  
Seth stood up, his foot becoming caught on a pair of black panties. He swore again, studying the remainder of clothing on his bedroom floor. Her panties, his Snoopy boxer shorts, and anything else they had had on the night before.  
  
"Fuck!" that was the loudest as he punched the door frame.  
  
Summer's eyes shot open, "what're you doing?" she groaned in annoyance, watching him rub his hand, "whoa Cohen" she shut her eyes again when seeing him.  
  
"Take a good look at yourself!".  
  
Summer gazed over her shoulder, eyes half open, "what the heck is that?".  
  
He grabbed his bathrobe from the closet, "your naked bum and one hell of a hang over".  
  
Her dark eyes widened, she wrapped the sheet tighter around her body before sitting up, "oh god, Cohen, please tell me we didn't sleep together".  
  
Seth casually shrugged, "well, we have been for the past two nights".  
  
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!".  
  
"I know, I know, I can't remember a thing from last night".  
  
She jumped off the bed, "I can't either, there has to be a way to find out".  
  
"Technically, there isn't" he paused on his won words, " I mean...look at the obvious".  
  
Summer dashed past him out of the room, "Seth, I'm sorry!" and she slammed the bathroom door.  
  
Seth, that was the first time in a long time he could remember her calling him by his first name. And this wasn't the first time they had slept together, not even close, but there was something more horrifying about this time. Avoiding his mild shock, Seth stood outside the door. " Summer, I'm sorry too" it was all he could get through a hang over. There wasn't a budge, and he walked away.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The next hour was spent by Seth sitting on a beanbag chair in his bathrobe. He slept with Summer, again, and there was little doubt around that one. Worst of all, they were drunk, and had no memory of it.  
  
"You really messed up this time you moron" he said to himself, "don't even begin to think this is going to get better by itself".  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Summer left that same afternoon, without anything more than a ' goodbye' to Seth. He let her go, but at least he knew he really should have. And this time, she was taking something of his with her. 


	4. I wonder what your girlfriend would thin...

Authors Note- Sorry about the delay, again, but thank you for the reviews as always  
  
Chapter Four- "I wonder what your girlfriend would think of this?"  
  
Sometime the next morning, Ryan's leg slipped off the arm of the couch and he was sprung awake. For a mere second, he thought things weren't different, that nothing had changed. Then he remembered that his four-year-old daughter was in the next room. Remembering his sudden responsibility had Ryan running down the hallway. His bursting through the doorway spooked Lillian, and she nearly flew across the room.  
  
"I'm sorry" he breathed. She had managed to find a sheet of paper and a pencil is this disgrace of the room. There was half a finished drawing on the floor where she had been. He knelt down, "what are you drawing?".  
  
No response.  
  
Back at square one.  
  
He glanced at her, and she looked as though she was ready to bounce again at any given moment. "Lilly, you don't have to give me the silent treatment" but he couldn't blame her, "can't you say...something?".  
  
Who was he kidding? Last time, and only time, she talked, she had screamed several times ' I hate you!' directly at him.  
  
The doorbell, he didn't think anyone really knew where he lived. Ryan grabbed her, then rushed back to the door by the fourth irritated ring.  
  
Julie Cooper, he should have known.  
  
"Hi...Julie".  
  
That smile was without a doubt meant for him, let alone real. " How's my little butter ball doing?" she cooed.  
  
Lillian proved she was her fathers child by covering her face in his shoulder and not acknowledging her grandma.  
  
He set her standing on the carpet and whispered, "why don't you go finish that drawing, I'll be there in a few minutes" and she took off, leaving him alone with Julie.  
  
"Well, you seem to know what you're doing" she sarcastically commented.  
  
Sarcasm, the one life long lesson Ryan learned from Seth. But if he wanted to seem older than a woman thirty years his senior, now was not the time to be using that. "It hasn't even been a day and she's been asleep, what do you want from that?".  
  
Taking him literally, Julie removed a small stack of papers from her hand bag, "I want you to sign her over to me".  
  
He accepted the papers, only a second before ripping them in half, "over my dead body".  
  
"Don't you mean over my daughters dead body?".  
  
Ryan had never had the strong urge to strike a woman, but he was going to reconsider that very shortly. "Marissa left her to me, I've been in the will since the day Lilly was born. She is my daughter and no judge in this country is going to overlook that and give a child to you. After all, we all know your past with minors".  
  
And he was expecting to get slapped for that, not like it was the truth or anything. But instead, her face stayed as stone cold as her personality. "Have it your way" her lip curled, "I wonder what your girlfriend would say to this".  
  
That's all it took.  
  
Dammit, how could he forget about Amber? His girlfriend called him in New York wondering where he had gone off to. Well he managed to get that far in a lie, something about a ' last minute business trip', he wasn't to sure what Seth had told her. But now Julie had him, she could read it on his face.  
  
"You have enough of your own issues to keep you busy for quiet awhile, so why don't you handle your own life and stay the hell away from my kid".  
  
He slammed the door, a good act of symbolism he had been inching to use on her since the age of seventeen. She had her fair share on him for that.  
  
Back in his bedroom, Lillian was face down on the mattress, her tiny body gently shook as she silently cried.  
  
"Lil" he tenderly spoke, carefully pulling her into a sitting position. Tears that weren't flowing down her cheeks had been absorbed into her skin. He wasn't sure whether or not to hug her, wondering how she'd react. But when Lillian threw herself against his chest, Ryan figured it was a go ahead, and held her in return. He still couldn't absorb the fact that it was his child hugging him. "I promise you Lilly, you'll never have to go live with your grandma". It was hard to imagine Julie Cooper as a grandma. Maybe when she was with Caleb, the image somewhat fit, but it could be entertaining to guess which male teenager she was taking advantage of this time. She gave up on Luke before he turned eighteen.  
  
Lillian's cries became harder, Ryan strengthened his grip around her, soothingly stroked her back. "You and I have a lot of things to figure out" well, he had to in the least. Amber and Julie were at the top of his list. Julie, he had plans for, but Amber would have to be tough to deal with the truth Ryan had in store- the whole ' the woman I was still in love with mothered the child I didn't know about and walla- here she is'. That was going to be a challenge.  
  
"Okay, I have to go straighten a few things out where I work, or we'll be in much more trouble" he'd be amazed if she fully understood him, which she probably did, "you don't want to be in their day care, so" he pulled away from her, brushing away a few of her tears, "any ideas?".  
  
For once, Ryan want expecting any kind of response. But, after a hiccup, Lillian squeaked out one word-  
  
"Grandpa". 


	5. Please tell me this isnt yours

Authors Note- The confusion about who ' grandpa' is will be cleared up in the next chapter......more fun to keep you waiting. Thanks as always for the reviews. Also, before I forget, anything that is currently happening on the show (Julie getting married, Luke moving, etc) has no effect on this story.  
  
Chapter Five- "Please tell me this isn't yours"  
  
When Summer returned home late one Wednesday night, she already knew what was awaiting inside her apartment. But after ours of tight outfits and screaming photographers, she really didn't care.  
  
The answering machine still flashed with the same three messages that were eight weeks old in the least. The full suitcase remained packed in her bedroom, and the bathroom door always remained closed. She knew the pregnancy test, the positive pregnancy test, was on the sink and she couldn't go within ten feet of the room. She'd shower at work.  
  
Work. The girl was a model. If there was a shoot for miserable looking teenagers, she could pull that off at twenty-two in her condition. No one noticed, and no one even cares. Except Elise, but she was it. Then again, being someone's ' personal assistant' doesn't always entitle them to voice their opinion.  
  
But that wasn't Summer's concern. Elise was one thing, a baby was another. Being pregnant, she wasn't sure how to analyze that one, under any terms. Of course she hasn't told her boss, Jamie was the kiss of death all his own. And then there was Seth. Well if she didn't have the nerve to listen to his phone messages, assuming they were from him, there was no chance she was going to tell him about a baby.  
  
It didn't even feel like a baby. Only two months later, but in a strange way, it does. To Summer it was. By looking at her, someone could tell that something about her was off, but not that she was pregnant. At least not right now.  
  
"Roberts, open the door, now!".  
  
Elise was never one to knock, just yell, which made one wonder who the model was. For someone who was suppose to make Summer's life easier, she used their forming friendship to reverse that.  
  
"What's been going on with you?" she snarled the second Summer had the door open.  
  
"Well, I tend to come home after work".  
  
Elise brushed her way into the apartment, "don't get smart with me, you've been acting like you're dead ever since you got back from New York".  
  
Summer closed the door, leaning against the. She was never suppose to go to New York, only for a day to visit a friend, not stay for her funeral. And not to sleep with an ex-boyfriend, the only one she had technically loved, and defiantly not to come home pregnant. "Well, I'm a model, I'm not suppose to have a personality".  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry" Elise sighed, "you're still...upset about Marissa's death. I'm sorry, I just- well, don't expect Jamie to understand".  
  
"Not like I ever do".  
  
After somewhat of a soothing hug, Elise kindly asked in a bounce, "I ran over here in a mad rage, can I use your bathroom?".  
  
Summer pointed towards the hallway, "first door on the left".  
  
Even when she walked away, Summer had not yet realized where she directed her guest to. It wasn't until Elise returned, with something in hand, that she realized the stunt she had pulled. "Please" Elise begged, "tell me this isn't yours".  
  
"It isn't mine".  
  
"But it is".  
  
"Yep".  
  
Elise was aiming for the recliner, but missed and hit the floor, "you're pregnant? When did you find out?".  
  
"About three weeks ago" she calmly answered, "I'm due in August".  
  
"Due? As in you're going to have a kid?".  
  
Summer casually shrugged. She knew something was going to spark this subject eventually. A think girl like her can't hide such a thing for very long. "When you really analyze it, I've got no reason not to".  
  
And here come the objections. "Really? Because I can think of a lot".  
  
At least she had been prepared for this. "Well it's my body and my mind, and I guess that's what matters".  
  
There was the brainwashing coming right back to Elise, "well other people own your body and they don't give a shit about your mind. What are you going to do? Model maternity clothing?".  
  
"I guess that depends on Jamie".  
  
"Why? Is he the father?".  
  
Summer's jaw nearly dislocated itself, "no! But if he ' owns my body' he'll decide where my career goes. But that's as far as it'll go! I'm having this baby, and no bullshit contract is going to tell me what to do".  
  
Elise returned to her feet with obvious maneuvers to calm herself, "maybe you're still a little...messed up from Marissa's death".  
  
"If that was the situation, I think I would have gotten over it by now after a month of thinking all this over".  
  
"Wait a second, you're ex in New York...Sam?".  
  
"Seth".  
  
"Is he the father?" Summer nodded, "that's going to be a weird custody arrangement, unless you two eloped that night and you're just hiding the ring".  
  
She softly shook her head, "no, and I've decided that maybe its better off if he doesn't know".  
  
Elise's eyebrows flinched, "that's a bit harsh".  
  
"Maybe if you saw the kind of guy he was, you'd want to do the same thing".  
  
Elise slowly shook her head, "You know, I really hope you know what you're doing". 


	6. And now I'm destined for all girls

Authors Note- Here's where the confusion on who ' grandpa' is  
  
Chapter Six- "And now I'm destined for all girls"  
  
Grandpa, Ryan should have thought of that. For a second, he thought maybe Lillian believed Sandy Cohen was her ' grandpa'. But Seth wouldn't allow her to get that confused about relationships. Without a doubt, she met Sandy, but Jimmy Cooper had to be the one she was talking about. And sure enough, as she knew, he was living close by.  
  
Jimmy was at Marissa's funeral, avoiding Julie, but some how not noticing Ryan. He now felt guilty for loosing track of the guy, seeing as he was Marissa's only relative that Ryan got along with. But in a time of need, or no need, no one could turn down Lillian's face.  
  
"Did you get to see grandpa a lot with mommy?" he asked an odd sounding question, carrying her up the step to the address the beloved internet had found.  
  
Lillian shook her head, "but I like him".  
  
Ryan smiled, at least she was talking, it almost didn't matter what she said. "I like him too. He'll love to see you, and me, I hope. Would you mind staying with him for a few hours?".  
  
"No, I liked playing with Rachel".  
  
He rang the doorbell, having no idea who Rachel was. But when Hailey, and her endowed stomach, opened the door, he began to catch on. " Ryan!" she nearly screamed, pulling both him and Lillian into a hug. He stood back a bit to avoid harming any precious cargo. "How are you two doing?" she stroked Lillian's chin.  
  
"We're doing okay?" he quickly glanced at the little girl, "how about you and...Rachel?" he acknowledged her stomach.  
  
Hailey placed both her hands over it, "this is Trevor, Rachel is taking a nap". Hailey was not in New York for the funeral, Ryan had no idea she was married to Jimmy (not like it was a surprise) or reproducing for that matter.  
  
"Well you look great".  
  
"It's not Trevor, it's Allie" Hailey looked over her shoulder as Jimmy emerged from the other room joining his wife. "Ryan Atwood" they shook hands, "and little Lilly, how are you two doing?". Like Hailey, he was very settled about that question.  
  
"Actually..." all eyes were on Lillian.  
  
"Hey honey, why don't you go to Rachel's room upstairs, feel free to wake her up" Hailey pulled Lillian away from Ryan, placing her on the floor where she immediately took off.  
  
The married couple exchanged glances before Jimmy finally asked, "honesty Ryan, how are you two holding up?".  
  
"Well I'm not home twenty-four hours a day and your ex- wife tries to take her away, but who can honestly call that a shock".  
  
Hailey groaned, "rotten bitch...and that's not my hormones talking".  
  
"For a change" Jimmy muttered.  
  
Ryan nodded, "likewise. Anyways, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind watching Lilly for a few hours. The best way to survive a woman like Julie is to be prepared for her. I don't want to leave her, but you're the best people to leave her with".  
  
"If only someone warned me of that before I married her" Jimmy commented, "but yeah, of course, Lilly is more than welcome".  
  
"Thank you, and even though it's a few years late, congratulations. I'm sorry I missed the wedding".  
  
Hailey smirked, "don't worry, everyone else did too".  
  
"And now I'm destined for all girls".  
  
Ryan grinned, "what about you Mister Cooper? Marissa was your daughter".  
  
Jimmy slowly nodded, "first of all its Jimmy now. I'm doing all right now. But, uh, I wanted to apologize to you. I knew about Lillian since before she was born and I never had the decency to tell you Ryan. I'm very sorry about that".  
  
He must have had the same idea. If Ryan and Marissa didn't have the confrontation that they did, she'd still be alive. Ryan thought he was to be blamed, but no one else was agreeing so far. Except Julie, but she had been blaming him since first laying eyes on him.  
  
"No need for apologizes Jimmy, I'm here now, whether Julie likes it or not".  
  
"Oh she doesn't, so keep going" Hailey added with class.  
  
Jimmy placed both hands on his wife's shoulders, "if you need anything, please call. And hey, there's always Sandy and Kirsten".  
  
There was two people he forgot, his mom and dad- or at least that's how he always saw them. And Sandy was a lawyer, at least he was last Ryan heard. Either way, raising Seth entitled him to more preparation than what was given off.  
  
"Yeah, you're right, thank you".  
  
On the way to the firm office where he worked, Ryan attempted to solve certain calculations in his head. It was Tuesday. Amber worked Mondays through Saturdays, but every other week she wouldn't be on Tuesdays because she had classes at the university. He had lost track on which week it was, but figured he had a fifty-fifty chance.  
  
Amber's black firebird wasn't in its usual parking spot, that was a good sign. He stepped out of his own car after parking it as though he was disabling a bomb.  
  
' Perfect luck' he thought.  
  
And not a moment too soon.  
  
"Ryan?".  
  
His name had him jumping around in a circle to the voice standing behind him.  
  
Amber. 


	7. I have to get to California

Authors Note- For Seth's birthday, since I don't know when it is, is just Adam Brody's birthday but the year that fits Seth's age  
  
Chapter Seven- "I have to get to California"  
  
It felt weird standing in an elementary school hallway. All the colorful decorations made by students, lockers with nametags, and downsized bathrooms. Elise was shorter than most women her age, but any student that passed her in the building was no higher than her waist.  
  
Summer wasn't the only one who could escape for a so called ' vacation', Elise was also able to make it to New York. That Seth Cohen guy wasn't too hard to find, she knew he was a second grade teacher in Manhattan. His birthday was April eighth, 1986, which meant he was almost twenty-four. He was going to be a father in about seven months, but that one was one bit of information he didn't know. Not yet at least. That's why Elise was there, to let him know, since the internet led her to him. Summer was stuck on her plan of not telling him, but that happens too often. Once the news left her lips, it'd be in his hands.  
  
Okay, so where was this guy? Elise had been directed to the second grade hallway, and by looking through the windows, none of the teachers had potential of being him. Room two fifteen, the last one. It had to be him. She studied him for a moment. Cute, very cute, she could defiantly see why Summer went for him. A circle of tiny people sat around him on a colorful carpet. There was an open book in his lap, and there were just as intrigued as he was in the story. Quietly, without being noticed, Elise slipped into the classroom for the ending of Sleeping Beauty.  
  
"Okay guys, time to go" he broke out of character to glance at the clock.  
  
The children groaned in disappointment, Seth joining with them, as they gathered across the room at their cubby spaces. Elise continued her patient waiting, watching as he helped some of them with their coats and hate. There was about some that kind of affection on a guy.  
  
When the last child was ushered out the door, Seth finally acknowledged Elise's presence.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. You must be Emma's mother".  
  
Yeah right, like she was going to be a mother. "No, actually, my name is Elise Perish" she extended her hand, which he gracefully accepted, "I work with Summer Roberts, I'm assuming you know her".  
  
An expression of shock dripped across his face along with a look of restriction, not wanting Elise to notice, even if it was too late. "Um, yeah, I know her. Is everything alright?".  
  
She adjusted the strap of her shoulder bag on her collar bone, "well Mister Cohen, that all depends".  
  
"Please call me Seth".  
  
"Seth, I've known Summer for five years, but you've known her longer so there's no need to describe the kind of girl she is because you know, but" she briefly paused to study the deep sorrow in his dark eyes, "there's something you need to know".  
  
He gestured the tiny chairs, "would you like to sit down?" maybe he already knew it wasn't going to be that good.  
  
Elise shook her head, "I know what happened with your friend Marissa, and I'm sorry to hear that, even if that's a little late. I also know the general idea of what this Ryan guy is going through with his daughter" it was becoming difficult to look at him in the eye, "and, didn't that happen because of Marissa's secret?".  
  
Seth was loosing touch with his five senses, "if you look at it from certain angels, possibly, yes" his voice was slightly drifting off.  
  
"I love Summer, and you seem like the loveable kind of guy. I don't want Summer's own secret to hurt...you, so I'm breaking it. She's pregnant".  
  
Who knew one word could do so much to a guy. Pregnant, baby, their baby, was coming. Responsibility, commitment, all the good stuff.  
  
Seth was pale, very pale. Elise worked around models, she knew what sick looked like. "I'll still hug you if you point out the hidden cameras".  
  
"I know it's not my position to tell you, but it's your right to know- and Summer wasn't going to give that to you anytime soon".  
  
He deeply inhaled, "please excuse me". Like a flash of lightning, he bolted out the door. Instant reflexes that she was unaware of, Elise went after him. Their chase stood out among young children, though she couldn't figure out why he was suddenly acting like one.  
  
"Seth wait!" she chased him out of the building and down the sidewalk. Now it would be easy to loose him in a crowd of adults. " Seth!" she threw herself into the air, perfectly- and luckily- landing on his back. The sudden stop nearly sent them tumbling forward, but Seth managed to grab Elise's legs and pull off to the side near a McDonalds. " What the hell are you doing?" she snapped.  
  
He dropped her, both then hunched over out of breath, "I have...to get...to California".  
  
"Were...you...going to...run there?".  
  
"No, the airport...is this way".  
  
They leaned against opposite brick walls across from one another, regaining their breath, "and what were you planning on doing when getting there?".  
  
Seth shrugged, "it's a long flight, I could decide then".  
  
"Alright, first of all, the next flight to LA isn't until tomorrow morning...I checked just in case. And second, why not figure it out now?"  
  
He slid to the ground, "I knew I shouldn't have let her go, I've spent the last month out of my mind. Is she okay? Please tell me she's alright".  
  
Elise nodded, "yeah, she's fine, just herself. I'm sorry if I freaked you out like this".  
  
"Me too, I have a reaction disorder".  
  
"I don't blame you".  
  
Seth returned to his feet and began to pace, "I can't imagine Summer...especially by me".  
  
A small smile crept across Elise's lips, "I believe she's thinking the same thing, but she's really good at keeping secrets".  
  
He ran a hand through his curly locks, pulling it free when it got caught, "yeah, you're right".  
  
Carefully looking, she could see the emotion that was expressing on his face. Like he was about to cry, but ready to hide it. Like he was confused and scared at the same time. And she was the one that did it. Summers secret, or what was once her secret, couldn't harm him hidden three thousand miles away. "I'm so sorry, m-maybe you were better off not knowing".  
  
"No, please, don't blame yourself. I really thank you for coming all this way...though you could have called".  
  
"That didn't feel right. Then again I just told a total stranger he's going to be a father, and I'm suppose to be okay with that?".  
  
He shrugged, "as long as you're not the one making he a father, we should be fine".  
  
Elise let out a long sigh, "so...what are you going to do". 


	8. And where the hell have you been?

Authors Note- I didn't think anyone would really like Amber...  
  
Chapter Eight- "And where the hell have you been?"  
  
Ryan stared blankly into Amber's gray eyes, attempting to detect what she was thinking before saying a word. There was no anger, or hate, but concern and demanding curiosity. She was never one to get jealous, suspicious yes, but not jealous.  
  
"Hi...Amber".  
  
A small smirk disappeared as fast as it appeared, "and where the hell have you been?".  
  
He spent his teenage years swarmed in lies for various reasons, and now when he was getting paid to do it, he had nothing. "Uh, I was visiting a friend from high school, it was a last minute thing and he was a little...".  
  
"And that gives you grounds to not even return my call? I've been worried sick, you've missed work and classes, and no one was able to find you".  
  
"Well, I'm back".  
  
Amber snarled, "there's something you're not telling me".  
  
Yep, after all, she was a lawyer in training. "I don't have a reason to hide anything from you". Well, he did, but only for a little while.  
  
She stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist, "I guess, but you're not off the hook yet" and he defiantly knew that.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't call. Things just got- out of hand over there".  
  
Amber leaned back, "what happened?".  
  
There. That was his absolute perfect chance to come clean and confess everything about New York, and Lillian, and Marissa. She was asking, but he backed out. "Just some issues with old friends from high school. Nothing important".  
  
Issues? Did he just call his daughter an issue? Nothing important- what the hell was wrong with him?  
  
Never the less, she bought it. "Oh, okay" damn him and his innocent face, "do you want to maybe come over tonight?".  
  
That was it, he drew the line there. He knew what Amber meant by that, but Ryan wasn't going to jump that far into his old routine life, hiding Lillian. Both her and Lillian deserved better. "Actually, why don't you come over to my place instead?".  
  
Her eyes flickered. Not once in their past ' relations' did he ever willingly invite her over. She had seen his apartment, and knew why, but the invitation still surprised her. "Okay, how about around- eight?".  
  
"Sounds great".  
  
That would give him enough time to pick up Lillian from Jimmy.  
  
A man named Patrick Russell had the desk next to Ryan's in the firm office. On it were two picture frames- one of a woman that was assumed to be his wife, and the other of a young boy standing near a pool in swim trunks. Patrick's son.  
  
There weren't any pictures on Ryan's desk, not even one of Amber- or Seth, and he had some of those. He was often asked about that, though had decent responses. But what would happen if he put one of Lillian, though he wasn't sure if he had one of her (or if she could even swim now that he thought about it). He'd have to explain the story over and over of the five year olds picture that will suddenly appear in his work area. But no alibi would work, not like he was planning to use one in the first place.  
  
Pictures weren't something about Lillian that he had to concentrate on. He had a list mentally prepared- school didn't start for her until next year, he had some of her clothes and toys from New York. Next chance he had he'd turn the spare room into a bedroom for her. Teddy bear wallpaper? He wondered if she'd like that.  
  
' Why am I sitting here?' he thought.  
  
His daughter was a stranger to him, and he was at work. But he had to get information on keeping her away from Julie Cooper, she was moving faster than he was.  
  
"Ryan, you've got a call on line four" the secretary's loud voice broke his trance, and as an automatic reflex, he grabbed the phone off the cradle.  
  
"This is Ryan Atwood".  
  
Fact of the matter was he didn't care who was on the other line...until he heard Hailey's voice.  
  
"Ryan? I'm sorry to bug you at work, but is there any way you can come back here...like now?". As though on cue, he began to hear screaming in the background.  
  
He shot upwards when Jimmy's voice clashed with the screaming, " what's going on?".  
  
"It's Lillian, but I really don't know".  
  
He hung up and rushed towards the staircase which led to the parking lot. 


	9. Elise, just go back home and forget you ...

Authors Note- Okay, Amber is Ryan's not so serious girlfriend. She lives where he lives and works in the same place. She called Ryan's cell phone when he was in New York and talked to Seth, so she knew he was there. Other than that she's clueless. Also, this chapter is fairly short but I'll make up for it  
  
Chapter Nine- "Elise, just go back home and forget you ever met me"  
  
Neither of them were sure what time it was, some hour after sunset. Seth and Elise sat the length of two booths in a corner coffee shop, and they were still drinking eight cups later.  
  
"I admire you for this" he looked up from watching the liquid swirl around in his mug, "just the way you're handling all of it".  
  
He shrugged, "I never had harsh reactions to things, but I'm not sure if all of it has sunk in yet".  
  
"It's tough news to take, but you seem like a mellow kind of guy".  
  
"I am" except now he felt like Ryan, only he knew his baby was coming, "I only hope I don't have to wait five years before I see her again" he muttered.  
  
Elise took note on how he acknowledged Summer rather than only a baby, "it doesn't have to be that way, you can come back to California".  
  
"And if she wants, she can keep running away, Marissa was ready and willing to do that if she had to. And how do I know she's not getting an abortion, or putting the baby up for adoption?"  
  
"She said she wouldn't, in a way that you have to believe her. She  
wants the baby and at the same time wants to protect you".  
  
Seth looked back down at the table top, "that's exactly what Marissa said about Ryan" he quietly commented.  
  
Elise nipped at her lip, "don't let this turn out like that. After all, I came here to bring you back with me. You're probably the only person she'd want to see right now".  
  
"Yeah that's how it all starts out. Then in a little bit you can be the reason Summer runs in front of a moving car. I told Ryan to come here, and that's what got Lillian upset enough to run into the street. So maybe if I stay out of the way it'll be okay. And yes I know that rhymed".  
  
Was there a way to respond to that? He felt responsible for someone's death and now wanted to suffer more for the sake of it. "So you think Summer raising a kid on her own with a job like hers is considered ' okay'? Yeah she thinks the same thing, but you two seem to want to make it all better for the other one but you're both miserable".  
  
"Well we're not going to be happy stuck with each other".  
  
She took a small sip from her mug, "then don't make it being ' stuck' with each other. You obviously love her if you two slept together".  
  
Seth snarled, "we were drunk".  
  
"You wouldn't care so much if you didn't have feelings for her".  
  
He paused briefly, "it's my baby! What else am I suppose to feel?!".  
  
"Just earlier you wanted to get on a plane to California, now you're just staying here and not doing anything".  
  
"I thought about it and realized I should respect Summer's wishes".  
  
Elise nearly dropped her mug on the tabletop, "screw what Summer wishes, neither of you are making sense right now. It's your baby my god, your best friend is a lawyer, you don't have to be left in the dark".  
  
"No lawyers" Elise groaned, "you work for her, won't she notice the fact that you're gone?".  
  
"She doesn't think I have the slightest idea who you are, I'm not worried about it".  
  
He closed his eyes slowly, "Elise, just go back home and forget you ever met me". He pulled his coat off the back of the booth and stood up, "it was really nice meeting you, and I appreciate you trying to help me, I really do. I'm sorry your plans failed, but it's not like I have a choice. Call me cold hearted and pig headed, but I guess that's what I am. Good bye Elise, anytime you need a place in New York, I'm here".  
  
And with that, she watched him walk out of the diner into the cold New York night. 


	10. Well, Amber is a friend, who happens to ...

Chapter Ten- "Well, Amber is a friend, who happens to be a girl"  
  
Hailey was sitting on the front porch when Ryan pulled into the driveway. From the walkway, he could hear muffled crying. She got to her feet as fast as she could when seeing him.  
  
"I don't know what happened! She was with Rachel and then just...well don't listen to me, get in there!".  
  
He ran inside and found the staircase. Jimmy, a worn out Jimmy, and a young girl who easily passed as his offspring, stood near one of the doorways. He moved out of Ryan's way and he stepped into a little girls room. Lillian had herself wedged corner between the bed and the closet, screaming. Her face was damp and bright red, buried in her knees. Ryan dropped to his own knees next to her, and immediately pulled her into his arms, which somewhat silenced her. She changed her position so she was being held properly. After a moment or two, she was calmer and quieter. He gently stroked her back as she sniffed back several tears, the ones that weren't already on his shoulder.  
  
"What happened Lil?" he asked softly.  
  
She didn't answer right away, hesitating whether or not she wanted to mention it. But she did, "mommy's dead".  
  
Ryan froze. That was the first time she ever acknowledged Marissa's death, at least aloud. After the incident, both him and Seth gracefully explained, in a five year olds version, what had happened. She didn't say anything, not like they were expecting her to. But she seemed to had accepted that, but that was the first ' dead' he heard.  
  
"Yeah honey, she is. I'm sorry".  
  
She hiccupped, "and it's my fault".  
  
Instantaneously, he pulled her back from him, staring her right in the bloodshot eyes, "who told you that?".  
  
Lillian shrugged, "I did".  
  
"No Lilly, that's not true" he was very firm, "don't believe that, don't even think that".  
  
He wasn't sure who was to blame for the accident, or even if there was anyone to blame. But Ryan would put himself in those accusations before her.  
  
"I ran into the street".  
  
"So did mommy" and he'd verbally battle his daughter over this one. Once she hit thirteen, he'd have to get use to it.  
  
"But I ran away from you".  
  
"Well, why don't we stick together for a little while? I've got a good feeling about that" Lillian nodded, "and let me know if you ever want to talk about mommy, and we will, okay?". Another nod, "hey, I've got a surprise for you. There's someone coming over tonight, and she really wants to meet you".  
  
A look of puzzlement expressed itself on her face, which he should have taken more seriously than he did at the time.  
  
Lillian sat perched on the edge of the couch watching her father pace back and forth. And yet she couldn't figure out why the man that appears to be so stable was now a basket case.  
  
He stopped in front of her, "you like that dress, right?". It was the only dress she owned that made it from New York. Never the less, she nodded to avoid making things more difficult than they already seemed to be. "Okay, the person you're going to meet tonight, if you do or don't like her, I want you to let me know".  
  
"Is she your girlfriend?".  
  
Ryan's eyes bulged, "y-you know what that is?". Was that in a kids vocabulary?  
  
"I think, Seth would sometimes talk about not having one".  
  
"Well Amber is a friend, who happens to be a girl".  
  
Lillian stared with blank eyes, and Ryan realized he was talking to a kid, not a teenager. How many people say that one in high school.  
  
"I should stop before I confuse you".  
  
She shrugged, "I'm not".  
  
"I am".  
  
There was a knock, and Ryan nearly jumped out of his skin. The second he had the door open, Amber was kissing him, and he could only pray Lillian wasn't looking.  
  
"What's going on?" she smirked. He must have made it obvious that there was something.  
  
"No, there's just....someone I want you to meet".  
  
This was his last chance to prevent Lillian's exposure, but Ryan couldn't find a long term advantage to that. Lillian scooted closer to the cushions edge when seeing Amber.  
  
"Hey there cutie" she cooed, kneeling in front of Lillian. Ryan had no idea who Amber was assuming Lillian was, "what's your name?".  
  
She wasn't going to lie, "Lilly" but shockingly enough, she didn't say her last name. Ryan' throat suddenly dried up.  
  
Amber grinned, looking up at him, "why didn't you tell me you had a niece? She's so cute".  
  
Niece? Even if he had one, he'd never know it. Lillian glanced at him as well. By that point, she knew what her dad was doing, or trying to do. She also knew he could easily mend any conflicts that may break out by simply saying that she was his niece. After all, he seemed to be hesitating it.  
  
But he didn't.  
  
"She's not my niece Amber, she's my daughter".  
  
Amber snorted, "you don't have a daughter".  
  
He gave a quick smile to Lillian, "yeah, I do".  
  
"No you don't, come on, you would have told me".  
  
"It's a bit more complicated than that".  
  
She slowly rose to her feet, "what are you talking about?" she muttered.  
  
Ryan bent down, gathering Lillian in his arms and standing again, " Amber Lexington, meet Lilly Atwood".  
  
Lillian waved, however, Amber's jaw hung loose. She took a step backwards, acting as though they were the plague. "This is a trick, right? Some kind of a sick joke?".  
  
They both shook their heads.  
  
"So this is what happened in New York? And this is why you were acting so weird earlier?".  
  
He placed Lillian on the couch, "it's a similar position to the one you're in now".  
  
"I don't think so. I don't have some kid stashed away on the side".  
  
Some kid? He wondered how many people saw Lillian as that.  
  
"At least listen to me, you have it all wrong".  
  
"No, you're the one who has it wrong. Thinking I'll be just fine with- whatever you want to call it. Well think again Ryan".  
  
He wasn't going to let her get away with storming off, and managed to grab her wrist in the hallway. "You don't understand, I didn't know about Lilly until I went back to New York. No one told me about her, so how could I have told you?".  
  
She whipped her hand away, "well congratulations, it's a girl". 


	11. Custody termination, usually it’s the fa...

Chapter Eleven- "Custody termination, usually it's the father who signs them"  
  
So they managed to create a plan, both of them, together. Seth had a summer break starting in May, and he was literal when calling it ' summer break'. May, that meant Summer was already six months along, and that meant three months left. Once he got to California, Elise would be on the other end. But she was already helping out, even when three thousand miles away. She'd write emails on Summers progress, including the daily vomit count. Also, sometimes around March, she mailed him a very fuzzy looking picture. It wasn't until another teacher at the school told him that he knew it was a sonogram picture. It only took a few days to detect the head, and then the rest of the baby.  
  
That was his baby, but he wasn't sure if reality had hit yet. He hated New York, he hated everything about it. All of this was keeping him away from Summer, and the baby, the only place he wanted to be. He nearly lost it one day in front of his students when he had to read a book about where babies came from.  
  
Now he hated the book. It made having a baby sound so happy and simple. Seth himself was ready to let loose and tell a group of six and seven year olds what it was like for him. But he didn't, he knew he couldn't. Somewhere in California, Summer was going through the experience in a version that was worse.  
  
At least May was coming.  
  
May in California  
  
Elise pulled the key out of a lock and stepped into Summers apartment early that morning. She found her laying perfectly still on the living room floor, staring at the ceiling.  
  
Elise laughed, "what are you doing?".  
  
"Trying to see my feet, but I failed at that one".  
  
Summer had been quiet amazed with her endowed stomach. It was a fascination for her, that and the baby kicking.  
  
"Well I can assure you that there's no extra hair or moles growing".  
  
Summer tried lifting her ankles, but only an inch or two until she had to drop them again, "that wasn't in the big book of messed up pregnancy hormones. Now help me up".  
  
Elise stood over her waist, grabbing her hands, "where are you doing? Since you've got the day off".  
  
"I'm going to see a friend".  
  
"Oh really?" she grunted, pulling Summer into a standing position, "who?".  
  
"Ryan, he was a...friend from high school".  
  
Elise's mind reacted to the name, "Ryan? As in your lawyer friend Ryan?" Summer nodded, "why are you going to see him?".  
  
Summer lightly shrugged, "just to ask him a few questions".  
  
That didn't sound good. She'd never have a casual reason to do that. "Oh, okay" Elise had a weird feeling, "but why are you going to see a lawyer?".  
  
"I'm not, I'm going to see a friend who happens to be a lawyer".  
  
"Does this have to do with the baby?" when she didn't respond, Elise took a hint, "forget it. Do you need a ride?".  
  
"No, thanks" but Summer suspected she wasn't the only one withholding something.  
  
Even if Summer was at the airport that afternoon, she wouldn't have suspected the tall man with a baseball cap and sunglasses to be Seth Cohen. That's exactly what they wanted, for him to go unnoticed.  
  
"Welcome to Los Angeles Mister Cohen" Elise grinned.  
  
He removed the glasses, "thanks, but it still feels wrong, like I'm a rat or something".  
  
"Don't worry, it wont go on for long. I know she's going to see Ryan now, but she should be home tonight".  
  
Seth stopped in the middle of the terminal, "what does she want from Ryan?".  
  
An entire maze of desks was beyond where Summer was standing. Unsure if Ryan still looked the same, Summer began strolling down one of the aisles, then turned down another, and another. She managed to recognize his untamed hair over a few desks away and quickly got over there.  
  
"Summer" his eyes widened when seeing her, "wow, uh, how are you?".  
  
After a brief hug, she sat down in the single chair across from his desk. She noticed a picture on the desktop of Lillian sitting on a park swing smiling. "Fine, what about you two?".  
  
"Fortunately, better" he wasn't going to mention the Amber incident that was still in effect.  
  
"Does she stay with Jimmy and Hailey while you work?" she couldn't present her issue just yet.  
  
"No, I convinced her into school. She's with them sometimes, but they're so busy with the new baby and everything" there was a silent pause, "speaking of babies...".  
  
Summer placed a hand over her stomach, "yeah, I never thought I'd be the one to help populate the world, but I don't think anyone did".  
  
"Never the less, congratulations".  
  
"Thank you".  
  
Ryan leaned back in his chair, "so, what can I help you with?" he knew it had to be a legal matter.  
  
She let out a dragged sigh, "when my parents got divorced and I was younger, I remember my mom signed these papers so that she had no relation or responsibility of me. Do those actually exist?".  
  
He nodded, "custody termination, usually it's the father that signs them".  
  
"I thought so, and that's what I want. How exactly do they work?".  
  
Ryan leaned forward again, "is Seth the father?" he quietly asked and received a silent response, "and this is what Seth wants too?" he properly hid his reaction of those two having a baby in the first place.  
  
"I-I haven't seen or talked to Seth since the fall, at the funeral. He did call me, but I never returned his messages".  
  
His eyes turned a sympathetic shade of dark blue, "so he has no idea that you're...having a baby?".  
  
She shook her head, "so, about the custody papers?".  
  
"Yeah, there's come paperwork you need to fill out before they can be sent- hang on, I'll go get them".  
  
While he was gone, Summer studied the picture and tried to remember what Marissa had to go through when Lillian was born. Better yet, what Ryan was going through. She knew Julie Cooper, and knew what she was capable of. Was she about to do to Seth what Marissa did to Ryan? It could still end the same way, no one knew that for sure. Would Ryan tell Seth like he had before?  
  
Ryan returned with a tan file folder, "fill these out and I can get you the papers".  
  
She pulled the folder off the desktop, "okay, thank you" then paused, "you're not going to tell Seth about any of this are you?".  
  
"No, everything we discuss here is confidential by law. But, of course, even he would take a hint when reading the papers".  
  
"Well, what if he doesn't sign them?".  
  
He couldn't easily answer that, "I didn't sign the ones Julie Cooper sent to me, and now we're in a court house custody battle starting next week".  
  
Summer stiffened, "oh" she was surprised by both law facts and Ryan's facts.  
  
Ryan continued, "Seth could do the same to you the second he sees the papers. You could loose custody of the baby by the time it's a month old, maybe even before it's born. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?".  
  
"Yeah. They'd really take a child away from it's mother?".  
  
He nodded, "welcome to the American justice system". 


	12. As long as Lilly means more

Authors Note- And the battle begins. Now for a different subject, do people really want to know the baby's gender before its born? What do you all think it's going to be?  
  
Chapter Twelve- "As long as Lilly means more"  
  
"That has got to be the dumbest plan I've ever heard, and I know dumb plans".  
  
Elise groaned, throwing herself on the apartment couch, "you can't go see her now. Trust me, when she's in labor, she won't care. She won't even be able to keep you away".  
  
That was her plan, have Seth revealed to Summer only at the time of the baby's birth. "Are you a professional at this or something?" but he couldn't agree with her.  
  
She shook her head, then paused for a brief moment, "you know, she filed for custody termination papers. You sign them and then have no legal right to the baby".  
  
"And she really expects me to sign them?".  
  
"Hormones probably. Don't worry about it, she's going to have them delivered in New York, and you're not there".  
  
Seth picked up an empty picture frame from the small table next to where he was sitting and began to fondle with it, "so I should just stay hidden in here until she has the baby?".  
  
"No, you can go out. Just wear that disguise I gave you, like if you were going to court".  
  
"I already told you, I'm not going to sue Summer".  
  
Elise nodded, "yeah I know. But I meant for the custody battle, remember Ryan and Marissa's mom".  
  
"Oh right, when does that start?".  
  
"Today".  
  
It was hard enough explaining death to a five year old, but if Ryan hardly understood court situations himself, it'd be impossible to clarify this one to her. There was no easy way to tell Lillian that she may not be living with him for much longer, so he didn't. And he wasn't going to, unless he really had to. He knew that power Julie Cooper had, and he knew that he had small chances against her.  
  
The judge ordered Lillian to be under the supervision of a social worker while court was in session. When arriving at the court house, he only told her that he had to work. And she believed him. Good thing she didn't see Julie on the first day, or she may have figured it all out.  
  
Christine Fortum, the most high powered on the west coast, was representing Julie. However, that didn't worry Ryan as much as Julie was hoping it would. Since he was still too inexperienced to represent himself, he went the with attorney who, in his eyes, was beyond Christine.  
  
And Sandy was the first person Ryan saw when entering the court room. Kirsten, Jimmy, and a thinner Hailey were sitting along the bench that was on the left side of the room behind the gate. They all greeted one another.  
  
"I never knew an environmental lawyer could do custody battles" Ryan said.  
  
The two shook hands, "they don't consider there to be much of a difference. And if they did, then I'd retake any exam for this one".  
  
"That really means a lot".  
  
"As long as Lilly means more".  
  
The main doors opened, and they all turned to see who was entering. Christine, then Julie, Caleb, and finally Caitlin, Marissa's younger sister. She and Caleb sat down opposite Kirsten, Hailey, and Jimmy. Julie and Christine proceed to their table on the other side of the gate.  
  
"We better get going" Sandy suggested, leading Ryan to their own table that were in front of the two podiums.  
  
A woman dressed in a security guard uniform entered through a door across the room, "all rise for the honorable Judge Wobash".  
  
As they stood up, Sandy leaned towards Ryan and whispered, "I hear this judge is a softie for cute guys".  
  
"Well then I'm in trouble" Ryan muttered.  
  
An older, strict looking woman wearing a long black robe entered the courtroom and stepped onto the highest podium. "You may be seated" and she sat down herself.  
  
The security guard handed a small stack of papers to the judge, "case number four, six, eight, zero- custody decision of Lillian Abigail Atwood".  
  
"She has your last name" Sandy whispered, "that's a pro".  
  
Ryan glanced over to where Christine was whispering to Julie, "Julie has money, that's a con".  
  
Judge Wobash fingered through the papers, "it's quiet the situation here- father against grandmother  
  
"If you want to consider Ryan a father". Julie muttered enough so there was an echo. And if you want to consider Julie and grandmother.  
  
The woman cleared her throat, "Mrs. Cooper, how long have you known Lillian?".  
  
"Five years" she said proudly, "since the day she was born".  
  
"And you Mr. Atwood?".  
  
His glands suddenly became swollen, "seven months" was no match to birth, even when he said it. A muffled giggle from Caitlin erupted behind them.  
  
"You honor" Christine began, "my client has had more interaction with the child than her own father".  
  
Sandy shifted forward in his chair, "in all fairness, Ryan was never aware of his daughters existence until seven months ago. There wasn't anything he could have done". Ryan appreciated how Sandy referred to Lillian as ' his daughter' rather than ' the child'.  
  
"Unfortunately that can be used against him" Wobash claimed.  
  
Ryan felt a sharp pain travel down his spine when that was said, and Sandy saw it in his eyes. "Your honor, Marissa Cooper's will states in black and white that should something to her, she wanted her daughter to be with Ryan, the father. My client is biologically connected to Lillian Atwood".  
  
"As is my client" Christine commented, "DNA is not an issue here".  
  
Judge Wobash stepped in, "correct. The custody of any child is not passed on biological relations, the decisions are based on what is best for the child, or any child. Now, Mr. Atwood, since Lillian is currently under your care, please describe to me what life is like with her".  
  
Ryan politely shrugged, "what would you mean by that?".  
  
"What is your daily routine with her?".  
  
Messed up for right now. "I get up with her in the morning, make sure she's fed and dressed. She goes to school, I go to work, Marissa's dad and his wife take her for a few hours in the afternoon, but we have dinner together every night".  
  
Wabash leaned forward on her podium, trying to look him directly in the eye, which was difficult to do in her position. "What about in your free time Mr. Atwood? What do you and your daughter do then?". She immediately knew as he hesitated, "you don't have free time, do you Mr. Atwood".  
  
"My career does limit the amount of it".  
  
"Your honor, Mrs. Cooper does not have a career, so she would have a stable amount of time for a young child such as Lillian".  
  
Stable time did not make Julie a stable person. And she didn't need any job living off of Caleb.  
  
But none of this was going to pass here. 


	13. Scew New York, my idea's in Miami

Authors Note- Talk about delayed reaction. Sorry it's been so long, but now that school is back, it's easier to write (makes no sense I know). So don't loose hope, and keep reading. For the record, this chapter takes place about a week after Chapter Twelve. Enjoy!

**Chapter Thirteen- "Screw New York, my idea's in Miami"**

The innocence of a child allows them to always expose the integrity in any horror of a situation. When Lillian stepped into the hallway in the courthouse after the session was over, each day, she would immediately recognize the despair on Ryan's face. It really does make all the difference to have your own child run over and wrap her arms around them, and then hold his hand on the walk to the car. Especially in a situation she knew nothing about.

Lillian fell asleep early, even though he wanted to spend all the time he could with her, thinking that soon enough she'd be gone. So Ryan sat alone in the living room, the only noise being distant traffic sounds from the city street below. He was positive Julie was going to win, screw positive thinking, that was helpless against California laws.

There was a knock on the door, he simply called out to come in, not really caring who it was for a second there.

" You've got to be kidding me" Ryan stood up, "what the hell are you doing here?".

Seth sarcastically rolled his eyes, "like you don't know. I'm having a baby. Of course, the girl having the baby doesn't know that I know she's having a baby, but none the less- I also wanted to see you win custody of Lilly".

" Well that was a lost cause".

" I know, Summer's not going to like this" he then quit the act, " Lilly hates Julie, they wont let a kid live with someone she hates".

Ryan sat back down, "they don't care. But this isn't the custody situation you should be concerned about".

" Ah, yes, but when those termination papers are in New York, and you're in California, loopholes are found".

" You're going to be a dad soon".

Seth shrugged, "and you already are one".

From the dark hallway came the wandering little girl half asleep, rubbing her eyes and groaning. Without speaking, she immediately encircled her arms around Seth's thighs (her height level and then headed back to her bedroom.

" We're on the same maturity level, I think it's a mental connection" Ryan nodded in agreement, "is she talking normally?".

Ryan gestured for Seth to take a seat on the arm chair before answering, " she was, she was doing great, but then that whole thing with Amber- she thinks it's her fault about that. And now, with the court case, she's hardly said a thing".

" Too bad Julie can't see how all of this is messing with the kid she's suppose to care about".

" Yeah, well, I'm screwed".

Seth's expression shifted, "but, Elise mentioned that if either of you find evidence that the other is being, well, she worded it as ' a heartless jackass', then you'd be alright".

" Hence being screwed, I've not nothing. Marissa's dead, Caitlin would never help, and Jimmy wouldn't be any good since he's the ex-husband. And you know the deal with Caleb".

He sat rather still for a few minutes, waiting until Ryan acknowledged the fact that he was acting abnormal, even for Seth. "I have an idea...I think".

Ryan was hesitant to ask, "I hope it's not something that would bring us back to court".

" I know someone who could testify against Julie".

" Okay, who?".

" Can't tell".

" That makes sense" Ryan sarcastically commented.

" Well, I'm not sure how sure I am" Seth leaned forward, "so, I don't want to give your hopes up".

" Not like that's possible or anything".

" Do you trust me?" Seth properly accepted the glare he was then receiving, "well, I don't trust me either, but it's not like I can make matters worse".

Ryan shrugged, "I could beg to differ, since you have been in New York for the past six years".

" Screw New York, my idea's in Miami. I'll talk to you tomorrow" and with that, he bolted out of the apartment, leaving Ryan to debate whether or not to wonder about him.

Seth ignored the elevator back at Elise's building and ran up seven flights of stairs, panting as he dug through his pocket for the spare key he was given. He was so wired, he had to tell his partner the brilliant idea foaming in his head.

The second he was inside, Elise's hand was clasped over his mouth.

" Ssshhh" she silently hissed. Removing her hand, she led him into the living room, where Summer was sitting on the couch, sound asleep. "We were watching a movie, I thought she'd be gone by the time you got back, but she passed out. I can't wake her".

He nodded instead of speaking, completely forgetting what he wanted to tell Elise.

The phone rang, Elise cursed under her breath then darted to the bedroom to grab it before a second ring. Seth eased himself onto the couch, next to Summer. She was so peaceful, silently breathing, having no idea he was there.

This was the first time he had seen her so close since she left New York, and he couldn't be more scared. He gently brushed a stray strand of hair from her cheek, causing her neck to turn away in the other direction.

That was when his attention was drawn to her stomach, her pregnant stomach. It still seemed a little surreal that there was a baby in there, their baby, that she wanted him to have nothing to do with. Softly, Seth placed his hand on the side of her abdomen, waiting for a kick, or anything really.

" Babies sleep before they're born too you know" Elise whispered, coming back into the room, "don't take it personally". She must have seen the look of disappointment he had.

He stood up, walking closer to her, "who was on the phone?" he was desperate for a subject change.

" Someone who could testify for Ryan's sake".

Seth's eyebrows flared, "we must be on the same wavelength here".

Elise offered him the piece of paper she had been holding, "do you know who this is?".


	14. Authors Note

Does anyone want me to continue this story? I know it's been awhile and I apologize, but I will go on if it is wanted. Let me know. Leave a review, or email me at or IM me on AIM uncommon emotive

Thanks


	15. Dear Readers

My Faithful Readers,

I'm updating this story, I swear I am. I apologize greatly for the extended delay, my life had become more complicated than this show itself. But I'm back, and writing the next chapter as you're reading this. But the question is, is everyone still interested? Let me know, and get ready for a new chapter.

Moe


	16. I really hope your plan works

Authors Note- Again, sorry for the delay, but…things happen. Thank you for being so faithful, and enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter Fourteen - " I really hope your plan works"

The next four or five weeks had represented the dramatic life changes for both Ryan and Seth since the age of seventeen, and amazed them that it took this long to happen. One was in a desperate attempt to gain custody of his child, the other was ready to fight in not losing his. As time progressed, Seth would make camp at either Elise's or Ryan's apartment. With skill, he still remained under Summer's acknowledgment, and at the same time, did not share news of his plan for Ryan's custody trial. This happened to be a very unsettling topic for Ryan.

Even with what little conversation Lillian had applied herself to when first in California, it was over now. The exposure she had to the residue of the trial lead her right back into a mute phase. Ryan had a feeling it was the psychologist in which she was forced into as order of the court, but he wasn't in the position to fight it right now. He just wanted her to stay with him.

Seth tore through the California streets, certain ones that he had come to know so well due to his extending visit. Especially the routes between Elise and Ryan, and any fast food place in between. Not only was it a nice substitute for the fact that neither of his hosts could cook, but, he figured it'd be a typical Summer-free zone. That was, until just now.

He threw himself through the apartment door, finding himself with barely enough breath to state his information. " Ryan! I saw Summer at Burger King, and she looked right at me! I had the sunglasses on, but I don't know, she looked freaked out!".

He stumbled into the living room, where he knew Ryan would be. And, sitting on the couch with Lillian in his lap, was Sandy.

" Holy hell, it's my dad".

Ryan looked away, while Sandy gave his son the glare that would emerge if something rather stupid had occurred. This, was one of those times. " Well, I guess now we can call off the National Guard search for you".

" He asked me not to say anything, I'm sorry" Ryan muttered, before taking Lillian and leaving the two in the room by themselves.

The younger Cohen remained frozen, reflecting on the fact that he had been in California for sometime, and never chose to tell his mom and dad. " Do you know your mother has been calling you three times a day for over a month? When you're suppose to be living in New York, what are we suppose to think?".

Seth sat himself on the chair where Ryan had just been. " Dad, I'm sorry. But, you don't know what's been going on".

" Oh, I saw Summer at the last court date, I can take a good guess on what's going on".

This was not how he pictured informing his dad that he was going to be a grandparent. " It's not like that. Summer doesn't know what I'm here, or that I'm aware she's even pregnant. She wants me to give up my rights, and I'm here to try and work that out".

Sandy had a new realization that his son- Seth Cohen of all people, who had played video games until….well, he still does- had finally his an extreme point of maturity. " And hiding out at Ryan's is your tactic?" but he wasn't going to let him get off that easy.

" It's a work in progress, I don't want to make a move unless I really know what I'm doing".

That was too easy to make a comment, so Sandy let it pass. " Why didn't you come to me? I'm your father, and if I'm helping Ryan I can certainly help you. You could be getting in way over your head here".

Seth felt his eyes beginning to roll in their sockets. " Dad, I understand that I'm your only biological child and everything, but impregnating my ex-high school sweetheart while intoxicated isn't something I'd really want to phone home about".

Sandy shrugged lightly, " well, either way, I'm going to be a grandpa".

" Okay, you just keep telling yourself that".

Sandy left later that afternoon, with promises of returning, but not saying a word to Kirsten…yet. Seth took to thought what his dad had said, about doing something right now, though still stayed the night at Ryan's. There was no word on the apparent sighting, which was good, but figured it'd still be a safer move.

The two boys fell asleep that night in front of a tacky cable movie they couldn't help but watch. The movie had ended two hours beforehand, leaving them in a deep slumber. But a combination of an odd sound coming from the back bedroom and flipping off the couch had Seth awake. He stumbled to the bedroom where he knew Lillian had been asleep, while half awake himself, to investigate the noise. But the night light that would briefly illuminate the room had shown that not only was window for the fire escape open, but the little girl was not there.

Seth searched the entire room, the spare bedroom, and the bathroom within ninety seconds. It then crossed his mind that if the bedroom door was closed when he first got there, she wouldn't have left the room. At least, not through the door.

The bottom of his stomach suddenly dropped, and the panic began. He ran so fast back the living room that he went right by the couch where Ryan had been sleeping.

" Ryan!" he screamed louder than thought possible, which threw him into a sitting position, " Ryan, Lily's not in her room! The windows open, but she's not in the apartment!".

Immediately, Ryan dove over the back of the couch and bolted to the bedroom. He didn't ask for more information, he was Ryan Atwood, he didn't have to. When Seth heard him climbing down the fire escape, he ran out of the apartment to the stairs, and would barely hit the steps on the way down.

Ryan was already pacing the sidewalk, screaming out Lillian's name.

" Do you think she ran off again?" Seth asked, interrupting Ryan's fury.

" I don't know what she would do that".

There was a faint screeching noise, or something that sounded similar, that came from around the street corner. It was too quiet to even tell if it was a human making that noise, but it was enough to get them running.

As soon as they had rounded the corner, the streetlights revealed a struggle between two darkened figures, an adult and a child. The taller figure had stopped running at that point to try and gain control of the smaller one who was using all her might to try and get away. It was Lillian.

Seth remained where he was standing, but Ryan took off, and had already tackled the guy who was restraining his daughter. He had been seen in enough fights to know exactly what it looked like. Lillian ran away from the brawl, heading towards Seth, who met her halfway to scoop her up in his arms. Knowing Ryan's top concern right now would be her safety, Seth ran back to the apartment.

By the time he had returned to the living room, he was entirely out of breath, but concerned if Ryan was alright. Surely, he was tough, but they had no idea who that even was. Lillian kept a tight grip on the back of his shirt, her face buried on his shoulder. She wasn't crying, she was screaming. And in the wake of an attempted kidnapping, he didn't know how to console her.

The front door slammed and, thankfully, Ryan appeared. He too was out of breath, a little flushed looking, but didn't seem to have suffered any battle wounds.

" He, he got away" Ryan breathed, " I let him go, wanted to make sure, she was alright".

Lillian hear his voice and pushed away from Seth, and he let her switch into Ryan's arms. He gently soothed her as she slowly began to cry.

Ryan snarled at Seth, giving him a look as though what had just happened was his fault. But they didn't even know what that was.

" I really hope your plan works".


End file.
